Deep Space Nine - Season Five Reviews

 1)       Let He Who Is Without Sin. Dax and Worf go for a romantic vacation on Risa and Worf becomes involved with a group that wants to destroy the illusion of paradise.  Basically, a low-budget comedy episode with free-spirit Dax bickering with buttoned-up Worf.  Hated by the DS9-spergs, I thought it had it moments although I FF’d through much of it. All the ladies look good in their swimsuits, and Worf always cracks me up. However, there’s no real story. Why this is considered so much worse than 12 other bad Dax/Jake/Ferengi episodes is beyond me. Rating *

 2)       Ferengi Love Songs  When Quark returns home, he learns that his mother and Grand Nagus Zek are in love. Horrible, with the annoying Wallace Shawn and Quark’s awful mother making return appearances. If not the worst Ferengi episode, pretty damn close -  Zero Stars.

 3)       Doctor Bashir, I Presume  When the inventor of a new holographic medical program invites Bashir's parents to the station – we learn Bashir’s hidden secret.  This was one of dullest episodes ever, and even worse is the subplot Rom and a Dabo Girl subplot. Not only is Rom ugly, he’s completely stupid and seeing his awkward “comic” interactions with Leeta was like watching a bad 50s sitcom. Rating *

 4)       Nor the Battle to the Strong: Jake and Dr. Bashir discover the horrors of war, when they work at a Federation combat aid station under attack by Klingons.  There are so many things wrong with this episode: the cheesy TV special effects, the bad acting by the guest stars, the idiotic setup, or Sisko’s perfunctory concern over Jake’s fate, to name a few.   However, the two biggest ones are Jake’s bad acting, (he singlehandedly sinks the episode) and the cliché ridden script.  The story is literally the big book of war clichés meets DS9.  This isn’t 24^th century Science Fiction, it’s a bad M*A*S*H episode. Rating *

 5)       The Rapture – This is another DS9 episode ruined by terrible acting. Avery Brooks as usual can’t express any deep emotion without overacting. Jake and his sister are awful, And Good God the guest stars! DS9 has an “Admiral Problem”  – they  lack command presence and have zero chemistry with Sisko,  It’s insulting that they cast such mediocre/bad actors.. And then there’s poor Louise Fletcher who’s stuck playing Kai Winn: and mouthing impossible dialogue.  You’d need Meryl Streep to make her believable.

 As for the story its nothing more than OK. Hilariously, the DS9 fan-spergs aren’t upset at the bad acting or static plot. Instead they’re all atwitter over the tolerant view of Bajorian Religion. We get lots of “As an Atheist...” comments.  Y’see they’re all for SciFi exploring “Strange new worlds” and discussing “new, challenging ideas” except the new ideas or alien beliefs had better agree with the Liberal/left party line. Otherwise it very bad.  Rating **

 6)       In the Cards  Jake (with Nog’s help) goes through a serious of comic adventures to obtain a Willie Mays baseball card for Sisko. Leaving aside the absurdity of someone in 2400 caring about Willie Mays, this was a pleasant surprise. I thought this would be bloody awful but its not.  Probably because Jake & Nog don’t have to act - just be likable teenagers. There’s a serious subplot regarding a possible Bahjor-Dominion treaty that is standard and forgettable.  BTW, its interesting that the DS white characters are given POC as their spouses and friends. But Sisko is always given Black friends, wives, and love interests. Even his baseball hero is black!  Rating **

 7)       The Ship  Plot:  Sisko and his crew get trapped in a crashed Jem'Hadar warship when a Vorta official leading Jem’Hadar soldiers demands it back.. Despite the dangerous situation the story comes off as repetitive and standard. Having a dying Redshirt mouthing clichés didn’t help . And the guest star was charisma free. The ending is a letdown as both sides agree it was all a misunderstanding. Rating **

 8)       Business as usual -  Drowning in debt, Quark agrees to help his cousin Gala deal weapons through the station. But as the stakes rise beyond belief, Quark finds himself facing a staggering moral dilemma. An excellent guest star Stephen Berkoff makes this a solid episode that is dragged down by a “three men and a baby” subplot with Obrien. Shows that Quark can be an interesting character if he’s not stuck in a Ferengi “Comedy” - Rating **1/2

 9)       The Begotten Once again we get a very good Plot A with Odo combined with a very bad Plot B. This time the plot B involves Kira giving birth. Its mostly played for laughs, except the actors involved aren’t very good at comedy, so it falls flat.  Odo however, is up to something very interesting that has a happy ending after a meeting with the scientist who experimented on him.  Rating **1/2

 10)   The Darkness and the Light  Someone is killing off members of  old Shakaar resistance cell, and Kira may be the next target. This has an excellent last 12 minutes as Kira confronts the killer over his motives and the guest star is above average.  However, before that, it’s a standard “Revenge killer with a list” plot that we’ve seen a lot on TV/movies. People get bumped off until we finally get to Kira. The only twist is that we don’t see the killer or know his reasons till the very end.  Rating **1/2

 11)   Simple Investigation -  Odo becomes involved with a woman who’s being stalked by a criminal organization.. An excellent guest star (Dey Young) who has good chemistry with Odo, makes this episode bearable. It’s a little talky but Odo is so interesting he makes his doomed love affair  worthwhile. But story is still standard. And the subplot is forgettable.  Rating **1/2