Deep Space Nine Season Seven - II

10) The Siege of AR-558 — Sisko's crew joins a small Federation outpost and makes a lonely stand against a Jem'Hadar assault.  A predictable war story - told in many films/TV shows - about a plucky rag-tag band of soldiers holding off the enemy.  We the usual war cliches: the bitter GI who feels  abandoned by the High Command, the tough as nails C/O,  the sneaky enemy picking off the good guys, and the defeat of the final assault. All that's missing is Sgt Saunders and his submachine gun. And having silly little Nog playing soldier and getting wounded didn't help.   Rating **

11) Covenant  - Kira is kidnapped by a Bajoran paghwraith cult led by Dukat. The producers continue their Character asssassination of Gul Dukat.  First, he's a lunatic, then he's a evil genocidal monster.  And now, he's "Master Dukat" a religious cult leader who wants Kira to convert.  This could have been interesting  - but the writers take easy way out, and make Dukat an insincere "Jim Jones wanabee". Of course Kira sees that from the start but its only when conman Dukat tries to poison all his followers that he's exposed.  And once exposed Dukat beams out of the story to parts unknown. Which brings up the question - why didn't he do that in the first place? Good Lord, what trash. I gave this an extra star because Kira/Dukat are always interesting - no matter how dumb the story.  Rating **

12) It's Only a Paper Moon  - A depressed Nog has trouble adjusting to a crippled leg and escapes into the fantasy world of Vic Fontaine.  I went into this Nog/Vic episode with low expectations.  We have two silly supporting characters dominating the episode and a cliched "handicapped vet struggles to deal with his injury" story. We also get a lot of Rom.  However, Nog and Vic are suprisingly effective, and the moment where Vic turns himself off and tells Nog to go live in reality was quite good.  That barely bumped it up to Rating **

13) Treachery, Faith, and the Great River  — Weyoun deserts the Dominion and offers Odo invaluable classified information. This is another great Odo episode which goes into some fascinating details about the Vorta Dominion relationship. The acting is excellent, and the special effects were quite good. The comic subplot was realtively painless.  Rating ****1/2

14) Chimera - A changling tries to convince Odo to leave DS9 and embark on a grander quest. A touching episode that comments on love, changling society, and predudice. General Martok (Hertzer)  plays changling Lass with a mixture of arrogance and sympathy,  But its the Kira Odo relationship that wins my admiration. Very good acting. Rating ***1/2

15) Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges - When Sloan attempts to recruit Bashir for an undercover mission on Romulus, Bashir goes along to learn more about Section 31.  Well done riff off cold war spy stories (Spy who came in from the Cold comes to mind),  The highlight, as ususal, is Sloan as the manipulative Section 31 agent. Bashir also does well as the good man caught in a bad situation.  Well written and full of twists.  Rating ***1/2

16) Penumbra - While Ezri goes searching for a missing-in-action Worf, Sisko proposes marriage to Kasidy and builds a new house. After Vic, Rom/Ferengi comedy, and Bajorian internal politics, my least favorite part of DS9 is Sisko's family. And this episode has a lot of Sisko, Jake and his wife. Thank lord for the FF button. The B plot with Dax and Work isn't bad. This is Chapter 1 in an 8 part series that will end the show.  Rating **

Deep Space Nine - Season Seven Reviews - I

1) Image in the Sand  -While Colonel Kira deals with a Romulan Commander on DS9, Worf can't get over  over Dax's death, and Sisko (back on earth)  recieves a  vision from the Prophets. I fast forwarded through a lot of this episode. Sisko - as usual - is extremely boring when he's dealing with his family and not commanding a starship, and most of the Worf part was just him moping around. BTW, aren't the Klingon's a warrior race, so wouldn't they just accept death without much fuss? The Kira part is even duller as she has a low-stakes conflict with a Romulan chick officer. I only gave this 2 stars because Damar/Weyoun are great, and the Obrien-Worf drinking session. Rating **

2) Shadows and Symbols: Sisko searches for the Orb with new Dax,  while Kira blockades the Romulan base, Meanwhile, Worf leads a dangerous mission in Dax Jadzia's name.   This continues the three separate story lines of Image of Sand and has much the same problems.  The Sisko part was very boring and  I hit the FF button. The Kira/Romulan blockade subplot was well done, but who cares if Bajor has a Romulan base?  The Worf "Suicide mission" with the DS9 gang was the most enjoyable, primarily because of Quark.  But,  once again, Weyoun/Damar were the highlight. Rating **1/2

3) Afterimage - This isn't a Dax episode, its a NewDax episode. Ezri Dax has difficulty settling into her now job on DS9 and helps Garak stop his panic attacks. The presence of Garak adds a star to the episode. Otherwise, its a rather boring "here's our new character" episode. Rating **

4) Chrysalis - Dr. Bashir helps a patient out of a state of introversion.  And then falls in love with her. Predictable, unispired Bashir episode.  We all know that love affairs with a guest star end badly, and of course this one does too.  Some good acting, but just standard.  Rating **

5) The Emperor's New Cloak -  Horrible Feringi episode.  I'm out of patience  was Feringi comedy. And no more Wallace Shawn - please!  Rating Zero Stars.

6) Badda-Bing, Badda-Bang -  When a computer glitch results in mobsters taking over Vic's lounge, the DS9 crew decides to take it back. Another boring Vic episode. Not funny or interesting.  I deducted a  star for the moronic race baiting. Incredibly, Sisko (aka the Producers) lecture us about how racist the REAL 1962 Las Vegas was. Incredibly dumb since:

• Las Vegas was NOT segregated in 1962.
• This is a 24th century Holosuite. A fantasy.  If Las Vegas is supposed to be "historically accurate" what are Bajorians and Ferengi doing there? 
• Why would Sisko care about a "black man" facing racism in 1962 Las Vegas? This would be 400 years ago, and Sisko would think it a  backwrd unenlighted age. Would anyone is 2022, not watch the 3-Musketeers because the French in 1622 didn't like Protestants?   Rating Zero stars 

7) Prodigal Daughter -  A boring New Dax episode Rating * 

8) Once More into the Breach - With nowhere to turn, Klingon legend Kor asks Worf to help him find one last glorious battle.  Predictable, if well executed, Klingon episode. I like all the  performances, especially Kor and the ending is quite touching. Even the Klingon chick officers seem less grating this time round. The ending Kamikaze run pushes it up an extra 1/2 star.   Rating ***

9) In the Field of Fire - a murder investigation causes New Dax to confront repressed memories of a Dax-host who killed three people.   A promising murder mystery that soon becomes dull, slow-moving,  and unbelievable.  One extra star for Odo mentioning Mike Hammer and Raymond Chandler. Rating **

Deep Space Nine - Take me Out to the Holosuite

Plot: The DS9 crew plays a baseball game with a visitng Vulcan Crew.

I've seen dumber star trek episodes, and duller star trek episodes, but this has to be one of the dullest AND dumbest Star trek episodes ever. And I'm talking not just DS9, I'm talking TOS and TNG. What's really odd is that mine is a minority opinion. Almost every review on the internet LOVES this episode. They're all baseball fans, or they LOVE the characters or they think its so funny. Of course the same people thought "The Visitor" was the greatest drama since Citizen Kane.

Lets go over how dumb this episode is.

• First, why is everyone taking time off to play a BB game in the middle of the Dominion War? Note that everyone has all kinds of recreation available to them on DS9. There no need to use a BB game as "a break" from the war.  This isn't a bunch of Marines on Guadacanal with no other recreation available. Nor does Baseball remind them of home.
• Second, why would the Vulcan's -a logical, unsentimental, scientific people - play  "games" of any kind? And why would they play a human (read American) game?  Or care about "winning" at them? 
• Third, why does Sisko care about winning? Its supposedly to get back at the Vulcan Captain for some slight. Which is silly. Hello? He's a Starship Captain, not a HS sophmore. 

And how dull it is:

• First, you'll notice  how brief my plot summary is. Because that all there is.  Sisko and Vulcan Captain decide to play a BB.  Sisko rounds up everyone to play. They play the game. And we see them after the loss.  Much of the episode is just the actors in BB uniforms hitting baseballs and catching them.  
• Second, the comedy isn't well written and is mostly low brow. Oh, look  Kira doesn't know how to throw a ball.  haha.  Oh look at Worf, he takes the game too seriously. hoho.  Oh look, Odo is a stickler for the rules and throws out Sisko. Hee hee.
• Third, the DS9 actors simply are NOT good enough at comedy or likable enough to rescue a mediocre comedy and make it tolerable. As I've written before,  Sisko, Kira, and O'brien are basically serious characers and aren't played by actors who can be funny. Bahir can be witty at times, and Worf can be a funny character by being so straight-laced and uber-Kligon but the actor who plays him is not actually comedic. The only two DS9 characters who can consistently be humorous are Quark and Odo.    

Summary: One of the worst DS9 episodes. Unfunny and dull.  Rating Zero

Deep Space Nine - In the Pale Moonlight

Plot: As casualties mount, Sisko decides to turn the Romulans against the Dominion. He and Garak hatch a daring plan to convince the Romulans that the Dominion will attack them.

Oh no, another overrated DS9 episode. The one is rated the Best Episode ever, with a 9.5 IMDB rating. And well, it’s a good, above-average episode. Has some good writing and acting. But why the wild praise? It has the following problems:

• The episode tells rather than shows  Literally, 8 minutes consists of Sisko speaking directly to the camera telling us (1) what he feels and (2) giving us exposition. Surprisingly, Brooks does a good job with soliloquies – but it’s still just one guy sitting in a chair and talking.
• The plot is bare bones. It’s a “bottle episode”, and almost all dialogue is shared between Sisko and Garak. Basically, we follow Sisko and Garak forging an electronic document by cutting deals with various criminals and Quark. We then meet Romulan Ambassador who discovers the fakery. Garak then pins the death of the Romulan Ambassador on the Cardassians, resulting in a Romulans Declaration of War. Mission accomplished. That’s pretty much it. The whole thing pretty much moves from A to B, without much tension or drama.
• The reasons for Sisko’s Guilty Conscience are NOT persuasive. One critic called it a “scary, gripping and chilling tale” because Sisko had to lie, steal, cheat, and kill to get the Romulans in the war. But we’ve already seen Sisko kill any number of people in the war, and he’s used chemical weapons to wreck a Marquis planet – just to get Eddington. And he didn’t feel any regret over that. And since the Romulans SHOULD be the Federation allies for their own good, it’s hard to see where all guilt and self-disgust is coming from. 
• And here's another reason why this is all so silly: If the Federation "CIA" had forged the electronic document and done everything Sisko did (as opposed to Garak) would anyone be upset? Of course not.  That's what spies do. So, the only important questionable action was the murder of the Ambassador.  And Sikso didn't do that.
• The episode stacks the deck. We’re supposed to applaud Sisko tearing himself apart over his actions, but agree it was necessary.  But the episode shrinks from truly confronting the audience about the hard choices being made. First, it shows us the Federation deaths. so we sympathize with Sisko that the Dominon must be stopped.  Then, Garek's murder of the Forger and the Ambassador is made more acceptable by making both unlikable. One is a violent boozer, the other snippy and cold. Sisko’s guilt and tough moral choice would've been more impactful if we'd liked the Forger and the Ambassador . Instead, you’re not sad when the two are dead. And you're more accepting of Garak killing them for the "greater good". 

Summary: This is a well executed, tightly written episode. Garak, the Forger, and the Romulan Ambassador are well-acted and the highlight of the episode. I also liked Sisko browbeating Bashir into giving him an illegal substance. People seem to very excited about “our hero” behaving in an unethical manner, but I don’t see the genius in that. I can’t rate the episode any higher. Rating ***

Deep Space Nine - Season Five - Part III

21) Call to Arms - When Sisko mines the wormhole to curtail Dominion activity, the Dominion/Cardassian alliance captures DS9 by force. Uneven and ultimately unimpressive final episode of season five. Problems include: An incredibly stupid “Rom” subplot. Is there any other kind? Too much Jake and Nog. A predictable “space battle”, Even the Dukat station take over over station lacked tension/drama. We know Dukat won’t harm Kira and Odo. And since this is Season Five - we know the Federation will return. Rating **1/2

22) In Purgatory's Shadows Part I of a two part episode. While in the Gamma Quadrant, Garak and Worf are taken prisoner by the Jem'Hadar when they discover signs of an imminent Dominion invasion of the Alpha Quadrant. -. Well executed episode with fine acting by everyone involved especially Garak interactions with Tain and Worf. I’d give it a higher rating, but it’s mostly plot driven without much depth. One reason why Season 5 is so good is that Worf, Garak, and Odo are all given much more time in the spotlight. Rating ***

23) By Inferno's Light - As Worf, Garak, and Bashir plan their escape from a Jem'Hadar prison, the Alpha Quadrant prepares for a confrontation with the Dominion and their new, unexpected allies. Good, action packed episode. Worf and Garak are the stars, and there’s plenty of Dukat on display too. A well executed plot driven episode, Although, we needed fewer Worf-Jem’Hadar fights and more about the Bashir saboteur. Rating **1/2

24) Looking for Par’mach in all the wrong places -  Quark's Klingon ex-wife visits the station, Worf agrees to help the Ferengi win her affections. One of the better comedy episodes primarily because we get Quark, lots of Klingons, and very few other Ferengi. The episode however is dragged down by Kira boring relationship with the O’Briens and the producers obsession with showing Dax hooking up with her black co-stars. Why isn't she having an affair with Bashir?  Both she and Bashir are the most attractive people on the show, and it'd be natural for them to hook up.  Rating **1/2

Deep Space Nine Season Five Reviews - Part II

12) Blaze of Glory - Sisko and Eddington must put aside their differences to prevent a Marquis missile attack on Cardassia what may kill millions. A surprisingly dull episode. The great chemistry between Eddington and Sikso in For the Uniform is gone. Here the characters are just one-note johnnies. Eddington is the sarcastic super-smart trickster; and Sisko the bland Good Guy. Without the driving force of revenge Avery Brooks has nothing to get a hold of. DS9 pairings of characters who dislike each other can be great - CF: Dukat & Kira or Odo & Quark. But this pairing just doesn’t work. Has the following additional problems:

• The story is overly familiar and lacked suspense
• It’s a familiar TV trope. Recruit a criminal to help the police, with the heel turning hero.
• Nog subplot
• The Marquis aren’t a credible threat, since The Federation could wipe them out in a weekend.
• If “cloaked missiles” are such unstoppable weapons, why doesn’t everyone use them?\
Rating **

13)  Ties of Blood and Water- A terminally ill Ghemor (Kira’s Cardassian father figure) comes to DS9, rekindling Kira's memories of her dead father. This is a solid – well acted - but predictable episode. Dukat and the Dominion ambassador’s exchanges with Sisko were the highlight. Negatives? Kira comes off as self-righteous and prissy. She commits terrorism? She has her reasons. A Cardassian kills innocents? That’s intolerable! Rating **1/2

14) Soldiers of the Empire General Martok with Work and Dax search for a missing Klingon vessel possibly destroyed by the Dominion. Overly familiar if well executed Klingon episode. Dax-Wolf and Martok have good chemistry and the Klingon’s are always fun. A stirring ending. Negatives? I could have done without the Klingon chick. Rating **1/2

15) Things Past – Plot: Odo, Sisko, Dax, and Garak are transported back 7 years to Terok Nor and mistaken for Bajorians. This was an excellent episode if you can overlook the unconvincing technobabble as to how it happened. Excellent acting by everyone involved, especially Odo. Rating ***

16) The Ascent Quark & Odo crash-land on a frigid planet and must work together to get rescued. Another bad Jake subplot keeps this from being 4 stars. The by-play between Quark and Odo has been the highlight of the series, and having them together for 45 minutes was a real pleasure. When the insults start to get tiresome, Quark and Odo revel a more serious side to their relationship. Rating ***

17) Apocalypse Rising Sisko (and the gang) go to the Klingon homeworld to expose Gowron as a shape-shifter. Exciting, plot-driven spy mission with everyone pretending to a Klingon. Not much sophistication, but plenty of action. Rating ***

18) For the Uniform Sisko’s determination to capture traitorous Marquis Eddington turns into a personal vendetta. This is one of Avery Brooks better outings as an actor. He’s good at being a badass and his anger at Eddington seems quite real. The guest star is excellent too. Sarcastic and superior. Just the kind of foe Sisko needs. Rating ***

19) Children of Time The Defiant crew beams down to a planet and discovers a colony of survivors who are the crew's descendants and that the crew might be trapped two centuries in the past. Well acted and well written. Thoughtful in spots. I’ve never bought the Odo love for Kira, and the actress Nana Visitor is a little too butch and charmless at times but still there’s some excellent Odo-Kira interaction. rating ***1/2

20)  Emperor Nok - Garak and O'Brien’s salvage operations on an abandoned Cardassian station, goes wrong when two determined predators make an appearance. Solid, entertaining action episode. Lots of atmosphere and plot, not much believability or drama. The only downside was the prescience of “Nog”. Rating **1/2

Deep Space Nine - Season Five Reviews

 1)       Let He Who Is Without Sin. Dax and Worf go for a romantic vacation on Risa and Worf becomes involved with a group that wants to destroy the illusion of paradise.  Basically, a low-budget comedy episode with free-spirit Dax bickering with buttoned-up Worf.  Hated by the DS9-spergs, I thought it had it moments although I FF’d through much of it. All the ladies look good in their swimsuits, and Worf always cracks me up. However, there’s no real story. Why this is considered so much worse than 12 other bad Dax/Jake/Ferengi episodes is beyond me. Rating *

 2)       Ferengi Love Songs  When Quark returns home, he learns that his mother and Grand Nagus Zek are in love. Horrible, with the annoying Wallace Shawn and Quark’s awful mother making return appearances. If not the worst Ferengi episode, pretty damn close -  Zero Stars.

 3)       Doctor Bashir, I Presume  When the inventor of a new holographic medical program invites Bashir's parents to the station – we learn Bashir’s hidden secret.  This was one of dullest episodes ever, and even worse is the subplot Rom and a Dabo Girl subplot. Not only is Rom ugly, he’s completely stupid and seeing his awkward “comic” interactions with Leeta was like watching a bad 50s sitcom. Rating *

 4)       Nor the Battle to the Strong: Jake and Dr. Bashir discover the horrors of war, when they work at a Federation combat aid station under attack by Klingons.  There are so many things wrong with this episode: the cheesy TV special effects, the bad acting by the guest stars, the idiotic setup, or Sisko’s perfunctory concern over Jake’s fate, to name a few.   However, the two biggest ones are Jake’s bad acting, (he singlehandedly sinks the episode) and the cliché ridden script.  The story is literally the big book of war clichés meets DS9.  This isn’t 24^th century Science Fiction, it’s a bad M*A*S*H episode. Rating *

 5)       The Rapture – This is another DS9 episode ruined by terrible acting. Avery Brooks as usual can’t express any deep emotion without overacting. Jake and his sister are awful, And Good God the guest stars! DS9 has an “Admiral Problem”  – they  lack command presence and have zero chemistry with Sisko,  It’s insulting that they cast such mediocre/bad actors.. And then there’s poor Louise Fletcher who’s stuck playing Kai Winn: and mouthing impossible dialogue.  You’d need Meryl Streep to make her believable.

 As for the story its nothing more than OK. Hilariously, the DS9 fan-spergs aren’t upset at the bad acting or static plot. Instead they’re all atwitter over the tolerant view of Bajorian Religion. We get lots of “As an Atheist...” comments.  Y’see they’re all for SciFi exploring “Strange new worlds” and discussing “new, challenging ideas” except the new ideas or alien beliefs had better agree with the Liberal/left party line. Otherwise it very bad.  Rating **

 6)       In the Cards  Jake (with Nog’s help) goes through a serious of comic adventures to obtain a Willie Mays baseball card for Sisko. Leaving aside the absurdity of someone in 2400 caring about Willie Mays, this was a pleasant surprise. I thought this would be bloody awful but its not.  Probably because Jake & Nog don’t have to act - just be likable teenagers. There’s a serious subplot regarding a possible Bahjor-Dominion treaty that is standard and forgettable.  BTW, its interesting that the DS white characters are given POC as their spouses and friends. But Sisko is always given Black friends, wives, and love interests. Even his baseball hero is black!  Rating **

 7)       The Ship  Plot:  Sisko and his crew get trapped in a crashed Jem'Hadar warship when a Vorta official leading Jem’Hadar soldiers demands it back.. Despite the dangerous situation the story comes off as repetitive and standard. Having a dying Redshirt mouthing clichés didn’t help . And the guest star was charisma free. The ending is a letdown as both sides agree it was all a misunderstanding. Rating **

 8)       Business as usual -  Drowning in debt, Quark agrees to help his cousin Gala deal weapons through the station. But as the stakes rise beyond belief, Quark finds himself facing a staggering moral dilemma. An excellent guest star Stephen Berkoff makes this a solid episode that is dragged down by a “three men and a baby” subplot with Obrien. Shows that Quark can be an interesting character if he’s not stuck in a Ferengi “Comedy” - Rating **1/2

 9)       The Begotten Once again we get a very good Plot A with Odo combined with a very bad Plot B. This time the plot B involves Kira giving birth. Its mostly played for laughs, except the actors involved aren’t very good at comedy, so it falls flat.  Odo however, is up to something very interesting that has a happy ending after a meeting with the scientist who experimented on him.  Rating **1/2

 10)   The Darkness and the Light  Someone is killing off members of  old Shakaar resistance cell, and Kira may be the next target. This has an excellent last 12 minutes as Kira confronts the killer over his motives and the guest star is above average.  However, before that, it’s a standard “Revenge killer with a list” plot that we’ve seen a lot on TV/movies. People get bumped off until we finally get to Kira. The only twist is that we don’t see the killer or know his reasons till the very end.  Rating **1/2

 11)   Simple Investigation -  Odo becomes involved with a woman who’s being stalked by a criminal organization.. An excellent guest star (Dey Young) who has good chemistry with Odo, makes this episode bearable. It’s a little talky but Odo is so interesting he makes his doomed love affair  worthwhile. But story is still standard. And the subplot is forgettable.  Rating **1/2